There is an old stereotype of one of the differences between men and women. It appeared in “Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus”, a book recommended to me by a former rebbe of mine.
It goes something like this:
When a man is in a bad mood, he just wants to be left alone, in his cave.
When a woman is in a bad mood, she wants to vent about it, at length.
The conflict here occurs when a husband sees his wife in a sour mood. His program tells him, “If I felt like she looks, I’d want to be alone.” So he leaves her alone. [Cue “Family Feud” strike sound.]
As with most things, the stereotype often holds. But not always.
Some of us like to be left alone at times, and want companionship and venting rights at other times.
A quality of hod is to know when to hold back, and give that space as a courtesy. We’ve all seen cases where a person intrudes on another’s situation, and only causes more anguish.
We’ve also seen situations where a person was left alone and in fact needed someone there.
We just have to know which is which. No problem.